🇺🇸 In the name of Love and Haight - 07.26.2026

I just finished up a 3 week spell of “R & R” in Petaluma, CA…. too much “R” I think. Although peaceful, fresh air, in the middle of much nature… my health condition continues to decline… I’m down to 58 kilos and feeling the fatigue from not absorbing nutrition. Ive been spending most of the time resting, sitting in my underwear (that don’t fit) watching movies… drawing bird tattoos, reading my stacks of books, falling asleep to all of the above. It’s seriously getting in the way of my good times.

One of the the fall out symptoms of my illness is irritability… I’m pissy way too often… today… I was having lunch on Haight Street… and the waiter was mentioning what they had and didn’t… I couldn’t understand him. His English was soft and he’s say Japanese words… for a moment I found myself with a quick burst of anger… “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!? and then in my head… “speak fucking clearly… what the fcuk!!! I could feel it boiling to the back of my eyes. Hate on Haight…

It took only a second to pull back from that feeling… I’m generally laid-back… and gentle… (I think)… so what is going on? Well… my body is fighting itself… literally eating itself… my body has eaten 18 kilos of my muscle to survive. It creating desperation in the mind… along with being overly grumpy.

And nope… I in no way want to be one of the old guy full of hate… it’s an unpleasant death sentence. Starving to death is not exactly a pleasant… or romantic way to die… and definitely not the way I want to write my final chapter.

I want to believe things happen for a reason… but I’m not having a bit of trouble getting past the 6 months of important life has past. There’s only so many years I have left to haul around a ruck sack and explorar planet earth… in the context I would like… and maybe this is it… I mean, in a transitional way… maybe it’s about evolving into the next stage… the next version.

I’ve been on some cool adventures, met cool people, fulfilled pleasures of the tastebuds, the eyes, and the flesh… so… what is there to complain about. I can no longer beat myself up for the decision and direction I took… whether I was pulled, pushed or cursed… it’s the story.

Haight-Ashbury is one of my favorite places in San Francisco… favorite places of all places for that matter. I passed a couple of tattoo shops… my curiosity of expressing my art through tattooing is quickly becoming a reality. I don’t think I would have made that jump if I didn’t have this time… this forced slow-down… slow-motion at that.

and in the name of love and Haight… choose love… choose love walking on the past of hate. and drift away with a grin of content on mouth…