Quetzaltenango/Xela and Aguas Amargas - 04.27.22
This is in the final days of my Guatemalan adventure and I wanted to take myself far out of my comfort zone… and I did.
Here’s my secret to adventure planning. Look for a hot springs on the map… end up at that place on the map, drive fast and then write a story about getting to that place on the map. And cool and the gang!
I picked Quetzaltenango/Xela because there were a couple of hot springs in the region. I really did not know squat about the city. It’s big and had lots of highlights on the Google map. Parks, and restaurants, markets, points of interests… maybe even a Joann Fabrics.
I broke out of my mountain cabin which is only 1km from the city in search of food and a little exploring before I head to the hills to find the thermal waters I so need to exist. There was definitely not a Joann Fabrics in this place… I was searching for a super market so I could get more than the standard small tienda
The small tiendas are everywhere. 2 or 3 on each block and they all sell the same shit. Doritos, Gatorade, candy, rum, aluminum foil. It’s funny because I never saw anyone walking around with any of those things. Except me… my new favorite snack “Verde Radiante” and “Queso Acelerado” Doritos. I’m not into processed foods but a boy needs to snack and I’m not in Kansas anymore.
Anymoo, I hit central Xela and it’s insane. There’s no walking through taking pictures of everything, no smiling and waving, no patiently practicing my Spanish. It’s like a fkg mosh pit… busting your way to the middle… getting hit with boots and hands and chickens… and then getting spat out the other side. Then in a daze… check for my wallet, phone, cash, pants… “oh good, I still have my pants.”
Ok whoa! I wanted to be in it with both feet and here I am. It was craziness and I grabbed food and got out of there as fast as my feet would move. I later read up on Quetzaltenango/Xela and what I had read was also my observation. It’s not a tourist place, it’s in no way sugar coated, no one speaks English (even if they wanted to), edgy, sketchy… it’s the country’s second largest city, it’s poor and very authentic Guatamala. Yup! That’s the place… and I will add “hot mess.” Blue-Eyed boys get spit out the other side with no pants. Seriously!
I did make it out with a couple of sandwiches, a Gatorade, and 2 bags of my fav Doritos (true story) and then headed to the hills towards the hot springs.
The mountains were just beautiful. Littered with farms and building and bus stops and also lots of litter. The turn off to the hot springs was a single lane road through the farms. It looked like a long drive way and didn’t seem right but I kept going. A few km up the road and i finally saw a sign “Aquas Amargas” There were a half a dozen cars there and looked like what I was looking for.
Surrounded by mountains and rainforest, the clouds are low, the air brisk and humid and i already felt relaxed. I grabbed my bag and started walking down. It’s an old bathhouse structure and the pools are in the middle of remodeling. I was met by a local who appeared to be the attendant. He jumped out, greeted me, shook my hand and led me to the private room numero cinco. He said it was clean and to touch the water for the temperature . “Perfecto!”
He speaks zero English… but my snacks and hot springs Spanish is fluent. He walked me over to his little store. Doritos, Gatorade, candy, rum, aluminum foil… I got a coke and paid for my private bath. 25QTX which is about $3.50. I came 3,840km to be in this moment. Stripped my layers down to my bday suit and bliss.
It was going to be dark soon so I reluctantly left. My car was surrounded by local mountain peoples in the parking lot… in their traditional dress… smiling and giggling like I was from another planet. Well, I guess I am from another planet… I waved and smiled back and I so very much feel enriched by moments and experiences like this. Life
It was around 5:30pm and that means rush hour. I had to pass through 2 sizable towns and then into Quetzaltenango. Again with the craziness. At one point I was at a 5 point intersection and a chicken bus, Toyota PU and delivery truck were jackknifed and I don’t even know how they got their vehicles into those positions but I sat there for a good 20 minutes. People, and horns, and smoke, and yelling… 2 police came out and baby-stepped everyone through. Crazy town.
I made it to Quetzaltenango which is a maze of streets, or what resemble streets… more like back alley looking things. I think I was driving on a sidewalk at one point. Again… just filled with traffic and obstacles… I don’t even know the rules at an intersection but you can’t see shit and just hope a chicken bus isn’t coming through. It’s like this… like playing PacMan… or MsPacMan and you’re on level 157 and it’s fast and the room is smokey and your friends are kicking you in the ass while you are playing and strangers are throwing chickens and trash at your face and you are on your last life and you don’t get dinner snacks till the end…
Oh, how dramatic that sounds… but that’s the way it was.
I made it back. Unclenched my hands. Ate some more Doritos. And snored like I have never snored before.
I head back to Guatemala City today and then back to Denver town tomorrow. Meet me there for Dim Sum and I’ll share all the stories with sound effects and everything. Smooches all around.
#metaphors or similes?
