🇲🇽 Querétaro and the Mexican Bus System - 03.15.24

This is a one night stop in Santiago de Querétaro. It’s another UNESCO world heritage site… and just under 2 hours South of San Miguel de Allende.

I landed here for a variety of complex reasons… and it began with wanting to rent a car to drive to Mexico City. There’s all kinds of reasons I like having a car… mostly because I can make a multitude of stops at my discretion; from grabbing snacks, to having a wee, or visiting another hot springs that’s 1.75 hours out of the way. Querétaro Airport was the only place that I could rent a car (to my knowledge). And so… Querétaro I would go…

It’s wasn’t a bad plan but I need to be conscious of my budget… and I’ve been enjoying not driving… and the Mexican roadways can be challenging (even with a lifetime of Colorado driving under my belt)… and the bus system is extensive in Mexico. Ultimately… I scratched the car rental plan but still would make the stop in Querétaro.

I had a room booked in Centro Histórico in Querétaro for the night… I just needed to find a way to get there. And the bus would be the way…

I found my way to the main bus terminal outside of San Miguel. It’s a nice comfy place with tons of nice comfy buses. I had my $5US ticket, found my platform and waited patiently.

We all know the ‘waiting game’ while traveling and there’s not much to do but fart around on your phone, go get snacks and make runs to the toilet room.

Yup… I did all of the above… the awkward moment was hitting the baño. I’m fully loaded with packs and I’m not leaving them sit… so I turtled around with them. It’s 6 pesos to get through the turn style. Yes, a massive turnstile and fully loaded packs. I had a sudden rush of fear that I’d get tangled in the turnstile thingy and they’d have to call the Red Cross to come retrieve me and then escort me to the border because I’m an idiot.

Is it turnstile or turn- style? Don’t know but I squished through the turnstiles safely with all of my belongings intact… more than once… and made it to my bus. Number 13 is my seat and it’s total comfy. Big seats, lots of legroom, tv screens, bathroom, and snacks for sale. Ticket cost $180MXN. Why am I not taking the the bus everywhere!!!!

The only eventful moment of the bus journey was being stuck in construction traffic going into Querétaro… I ran downstairs to have a wee (there’s a downstairs on this bus ☺️). While I was washing my hands the driver had hit the gas and then hard on the brakes and it threw me into the soap dispenser… which flung into the air and spilled half the contents of thick antibacterial soap on my hands. Guess how long in takes to wash off a quarter liter of thick Mexican bus hand soap, using a dribble of water from the tiny sink thing? Whatever you’re guessing… add 45 minutes to that number. 🥴

I eventually rinsed off all the soap from my hands, replaced the soap dispenser in it’s original operating location, and thanked the Aztec gods that it had only spilled on my hands and not on the front of my newly washed pants. Imagine that scene… “it’s just soap!!! Really!!!!”

I landed in Querétaro… took an Uber to my hotel and then looked for food. The city has a population of about one million and City people talk fast and mumble and I couldn’t understand shit they were saying. I really wasn’t sure if they were still speaking the Spanish language.

I found a pizza place because I was starving and it would be an easy eating experience. Nope! I couldn’t understand anything they were saying and I told them as much. It was a popular place and all of the staff were running around. I was waiting for a menu and then a bowl of pasta showed up… then a bowl of salad… what hell?!? I didn’t order anything! Then the waiter gave me 3 choices of drinks… I picked the hibiscus and he came back with an entire pitcher. What hell?!? I didn’t argue. I was hungry and dehydrated and my needs were being met. Then, a young waiter kept showing up with an entire pizza and asking if I’d like some… then going onto the next table… what the hell is going on?!?

Then… the slowness of my brain began to match the buzzing vibration of the environment. I remembered a sign out front about a set course meal and I final figured out it was an “all-you-can-eat” with a drink, pasta, and salad. So… I ate all I could eat. The salad was in the later stages of decomposition but I ate some anyways. The young waiter with the pizzas kept showing up and seemed quite disappointed if I didn’t want a slice. So… I had extra slices out of empathy and continued to eat long after my body could fit no more.

I finally tapped out and paid my $170MXN plus tip and waddled down to the plaza in a refined flour induced walking coma and took a bunch of pictures before retiring to my hotel room to sweat out 17 slices of pizza in my sleep. 🥴

I woke in the morning and…. AND was hungry again… and wanted to hit La Biznaga Arte Café that was around the corner from me… much to my surprise a corridor walkway door was locked. WTF?!? I was locked in my hotel!!! This is a boutique hotel, whatever that is, and there’s no one around so you let yourself in with codes, and lockboxes and keys… I messaged the staff and they gave me directions to find a bunch of keys in a secret space(see pic)… none of which fit the door. I found a back door through a back bathroom that lead to another room that I could escape to the outside…

It’s funny… the moment I was feeling trapped, my mind started calculating ways to escape… which was climbing over the roof terrace and down a drain pipe with all my gear. Total Indiana Jones like!!!

Anywho, there’s the extra long version of this story on my website blog, whatever a “blog” is… if you’re interested. I did get my breakfast at the cool café, managed to get back in and then out of my hotel, get to the bus station, and onto my bus… and 4.4 hours later arrived in Mexico City and there I was to be the only American kid to disembark at that station. There was a young dude traveling with his family that seemed excited to say ‘hello’ to me… I don’t know if it was the blue-eyes, or my SF hat, or that my hands had been bleached two shades lighter because of the soap incident the day before. Whatever it was… it made me feel welcome and I was glad to be standing upright in a new town.

There’s a bit more to the story involving my unique Uber driver in CDMX and the way his car smelled, and the free form rap kid that wanted to trade rap for money, and my Swiss host in my awesome studio apartment that I enter via fingerprint lock… but there’s another place and time for all that. A blog thing I guess… or possibly a book… or I’ll tell you in person at an all-you-can-eat pizza joint when I return.

So… now… I wake up this morning in the very cool Coyoacán CDMX… surrounded by 21 million people, not far from the Frida Kahlo house… in the largest metropolitan city in the western hemisphere…

I hope they have good snacks here.

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