The Jungles of Belize - Xunantunich, Barton Creek Cave, Farmer Dominque… 03.09.22
I woke up yesterday to a view of Xunantunich in the distance from my farm cottage. Enjoyable morning conversations and breakfast with the farmer Dominic. He has an accent like I’ve never heard before… Belizean languages (most people are multilingual);3 dialects of Mayan (Yucatec, Mopán, and Kekchí), Spanish, a creole patois, and the Queens English is the official language(yawn). I wanted to stay there another night but there’s too many places I want to be. I would like to return.
You need to cross the Mopan River on a hand-cranked barge to get to Xunantunich. It’s free but they said they appreciate tips for hard work. I kinda wanted them to bring me back and I did appreciate them so I dropped them a Belizean $20. Then i gots to thinking… maybe i should have waited to tip them on the return trip. Like in the Indiana Jones movie; give me the whip and I’ll throw you the idol. Cool stuff all around.
After the Xunantunich return river crossing, I drove into Benque Viejo Del Carmen for lunch snacks. On the Google maps it shows the restaurants and roads and the things, as clear as the day. In reality, the streets are narrow AF, the restaurant may be someone’s home with a table and cooler out front, and I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing. I did find a joint. Had tacos and a pineapple juice. The waitress was adorbs and I didn’t even want to ask her to the sock hop. Most of the locals are my height (I like) and there are hand washing stations everywhere. I like clean hands, what can I say.
Benque Viejo is right on the Guatemalan border. And if you have the wanderlust thingy, you know the deal about “… I wonder what’s over there?” Tikal is an hour over the border and I have a Jeep thing. It’s a production taking a rental over the border… and I have plenty to do in Belize… and I’m in Guatemala next month. I made a pouty groan and turned around to find my next jungle camp.
Dominic recommended I check out the falls in the pine forest reserve (yup, tropical pine forests). I have a hut booked near Cristo Rey. I wanted to find it before I get all lost and come back in the dark. Noooope! I hit something wrong on the Google maps and possibly missed the turned, so the GPS/Maps tried to reroute me through the jungle… or the universe is throwing a curveball in my plan.
So… the Google is telling me to turn right and there’s no road. There’s no cell service and it’s confusing because the town should be bigger and I’m parked in a wee village (horse and cart driving by, type of wee village). I download maps just for this occasion. I’m 35km off… which is way off in the jungle. Mierda! I totally blamed Google maps. I saw a sign that had an arrow pointing to Barton Creek Cave. I don’t know what that is but there was a pointy sign and everything. Marketing works people.
I was only a mile or 2 from the cave but took 40 minutes to get there because I was now officially on back-ass jungle roads… crossing rivers, with my kidneys bouncing all around… fully understanding why my Jeep was about to fall apart. Anywho, not nervous at all, says the guy with a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead. It was hot out! Not nervous at all!!!
Made it to the cave and it was actually a well groomed place. A little confusing for how back woods it was. I didn’t know anything about it. Met a local and he said you need a guide to go in the cave. Honestly, I need a guide more often than just this moment. So… guide me! Please and thank you!
Alex was his name. We boarded a canoe and paddled into the mouth of the cave. Note: I refused to pay him until I was sure he’d bring me back out… see, I’m learning. Anymoo, fantastic cave, 6km long river cave system, Mayan artifacts, great guide… I loved every second of it… i was told by Alex not to say ‘wow’ so much while looking up because there are bats in the cave and if the water drops down into your mouth hole, and it’s cold… it’s delish… and if it’s warm… I listened but I didn’t listen. I’m proud to report: no warm drops.
I feel like there was a reason I ended up at this place, and that’s what I love about adventure. My adventures. The plan is no plan, and it can make for a great moment and a great story…
Made it to my hut with no light left above me. It’s not really a hut. It’s a gorgeous modern cabin that was way too cheap for what it is… with a screened in kitchen with yet again, very sweet Belizean hosts. I ate my coconut crunch clusters outside, watching the moon and listening to the howler monkeys. I crashed hard and the howler monkeys never ever shut up. Hence the name… I guess.
