🇺🇸Oakland to San Luis Obispo (with one broken window) 8.18.23

One ton of pictures taken before and after my car was broken into in a parking lot in the city of San Francisco.

I flew into Oakland to rent a car to retrieve the last of my things in a storage locker in the Mission District in San Francisco. After I landed, I had lunch in the downtown of Alameda island. I had never been through there before and was pleasantly surprised how clean it was (SF is dirty). No graffiti, no trash, no zenbird stickers… or any stickers… I quickly became pensive about leaving the Bay Area and began calculating staying. There will be another time… and I feel it’s in the cards to make the big move to Northern California… sooner than later.

Anybloop, I rescued my beautiful Buddha and other bits from storage jail. I broke down all the boxes so everything would fit in the trunk of the car. You don’t want a carload of gear in the city of San Francisco. I put all the boxes in the storage facility’s recycling. The counter gal came down and busted my ass about it and said she’d charge me for doing so. We had a long talk… about city life in Northern CA… she didn’t think San Francisco is Northern… and I alerted her to my expertise on the subject because I’m from the landlocked State of Colorado, and assured her everything North of Big Sur is Northern Cali... it wasn’t important to her but she waived the box dumping fee if I promised to come back and rescue her from the city after I made my first million. I promised and now must figure out ‘a million’ of what… ?!? #onemilliondoughnuts

I stayed the night in an artist’s studio in Outer Richmond which is near Ocean Beach… and the point of me being on the west coast. To be next to the Pacific. Insert hearts in eyes emoji.

I know the deal in San Francisco… in the evening I packed everything away in the trunk or had it with me in my room so there’s nothing in sight. Things in sight mean smashed window. That’s the deal folks.

In the morning I wanted to hike Land’s End coastal trail and I parked in front of the Legion of Honor. It had signs all over noting “high theft zone!” I had just seen a video on Instagram last week of a SanFran vista parking lot break in. Dudes in masks pulled up in a SUV, one dude busted a hole in the window, slides in, and popped out with a pack, all casually walked back to vehicle… and off they go. With tons of witnesses and being filmed. Brazen little shits.

So… before I left in the morning I spent time rearranging the truck so I could fit everything in there. I almost left my clothes pack on the floor… then “nope!” Remember the video. I did leave a blanket on the back seat in case I wanted to take a SNap later (snack plus nap).

And that was likely it… I stuffed the blanket on the floor before I walked off. It probably looked like it was covering something… AND my rental car had AZ plates on it. And boom! Crowded parking lot in the middle of the day… one “brazen little shit” size hole smashed in the window of my Arizona car when I returned.

What little I had in the car was left behind so nothing had been taken. I spent about 10 minutes on the phone trying to reach the rental car company to find out what to do. They could give two shits and you go online and email a form or something. I also could give two shits… but i have to drive that fkr into LA tomorrow with hurricane Hilary on the way and then across the Mojave desert to Denver.

I can plastic wrap and tape the window hole up all sad like… or I can go all OG style and have ALL windows down, arm hanging out, half my face out, looking over the top of my sunglasses, and drive through West Hollywood with my San Francisco Giants hat... looking for extra trouble!!!

The thing about a car with a busted window from a break-in… is… everyone avoids you… like an STD. “Awww poor thing… you need a hug but not from me.”

“Ewwww… don’t go near it!”

“Don’t touch it!”

“Don’t even look at it!”

“Unclean!! UNCLEAN!!!!!!”

Now I can leave my wallet on the front seat because my car is tainted.

So… I decided not to go back into the city and go to Arch Art Supplies and City Lights Books like I wanted… and just started driving down the coast on Highway One, with the undulating air pressure of one busted out window, down to San Luis Obispo.

A couple of beach stops on the way, and lunch in Santa Cruz… and I eventually landed in Grover Beach, CA just before sunset. I parked, dropped my gear, and walked straight to the only “drive-on” beach in California.

I was crossing the street on the way and some local hicks drove past and yelled at me, “Giants suckkkk!!!” It took a moment to process… ”whaaa?!?” Oh yeah, I have my San Francisco Giants hat on. Lol. First, no offense to little girls but that guy screamed like a little girl. Second, I could give the slightest of shits about baseball… or any sports ball for that matter (maybe the Giants do suck… I don’t know). Last, I now know where the Northern/Southern border of California is located. It would be San Luis Obispo/Grover Beach. LA peeps and Southern CA. It’s wasn’t the last time I was barked at for my SF hat that evening.

I can appreciate a good surface rivalry… but take it down a notch. It’s like when I was at that JarJarBinks StarWars movie and asked, “where’s Ham Solo?” And the people went ape shit! “It’sssss Hannnnnnnnnn! Han Solo!!!! You’re one of them!!!” I don’t know what that means except that “one of them,” means, “not one of us…” and the human race is all about that bullshit.

#weareallstardust

#thatmoviesuckedifyouaskme

Today… I plop in Sycamore Mineral Springs… and then drive to Ventura Beach for the night… and then drive through LA, proudly wearing my Northern California SF (Super Friends) hat, through hurricane Hilary and into the Mojave desert with a broken window.

And the adventure never ends. ☺️

#Unclean!!!

#ventedwindow

#northerncaliforiarules

#Dodgerssuck

P and S… I still love SF and would happily live there if rent was affordable. Maybe after my first million doughnuts and a rescue of the storage unit lady.