🇺🇸 San Antonio, TX - Hospital Part 2 - 01.27.2026

“Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth. Have holy curiosity. To make your life worth living.”

- Albert Einstein

The Alamo. Can you say, “adobe?” Es muy fácil. Oh man, it’s been a strange couple of weeks… few weeks… few months… it’s hard to say what’s real and what is delusion… my head is now clearing… but my body has been nuked by antibiotics, drugs, anesthesia… it’s depleted and lacking in natural microbiome. Even with, or more accurately, without… I’m on the move… slowly… but moving.

It was a bizarre last couple of days in the hospital… I was feeling like a captive. Like the movie Misery. “Annie, whatever you’re thinking about doing, don’t do it.” and then she proceeds to block my feet. One nurse and a doctor have some inter-office power game going on. At my expense. Plus, I think, they think I was some homeless guy that just walked off the street… from New Mexico, Colorado, California, Mexico City, depending on the context… and I had no visitors… and looking quite unkempt.

Nurse Annie… actually Katia… I was believing, had a case of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy and was enjoying hooking me up to more things that secured me to being immobile… with a sadistic smile.

The NG tube that was through my nose and down the throat to pump my stomach, which was my biggest annoyance, was infecting my sinuses and was no longer needed because there’s nothing left to pump out… the surgeon told nurse Annie, in my presence, to call him at 4:30 pm about removing the tube… she didn’t and came running through at the end of the shift at 7:00… scratched out her name on the board, and as she hustled out of the room said, “maybe we can take the tube out tomorrow… “ and I could clearly see her sadistic smirk. And then she shut off the lights (7:00 pm) and closed the door.

What the hell was that?!? I was in the middle of hallucinations from coming off anesthesia. I had declined pain meds during the day to help my system wake up but now I am feeling the pain. And I became extremely anxious and paranoid… I wanted to leave… I needed to leave. I’m stuck here… but I can remove all these tubes and walk out the door. I sent a quick message to my emergency contact in Colorado… and a phone call to the hospital changed the vibe.

A new nurse came in to check… I explained, pointed out my bloody and shredded bandages… she replaced them with a professional demeanor, hit me with a dose of Dilaudid… and my anxiety was relieved… or I was developing Stockholm syndrome and sympathizing with my captors.

I barely slept that night and I was just rolling with the hallucinations. I’ve had similar experiences before and one in particular. An abdominal operation in 2004 to correct internal bleeding after a botched appendectomy. Post-surgery I was hearing and seeing all kinds of things. This night, I watched the visual vibrations of the I.V. machine… I could see it… the electromagnetic spectrum, or an alternate dimension… it looked like a web of light radiating from the device. There’s also a sound… a groan… and in that state… it sounds like humans talking in the background. It’s surreal. Unholy. Ghostly. The machine is essentially an infusion pump with electronics… but something seemed other worldly… like it’s powered by the souls of orphans that died in indentured servitude. Yep… drugs… and this is your mind on drugs.

The day before… Katia came in after the doctors had made their rounds and with her arm propped on her hip asked, “So what did the Doctor say?”

“Which Doctor?

“You know… the tall one…” blink blink.

“Awww… claro… ya veo (I seeee).” “Well, the surgeon and the doctor said the same thing. I will be discharged as soon as I can eat.”

“I just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page.” And she rolled her eyes and left. My feeling was that she had some admiration for Dr. Tall… and he probably had a power conflict with the surgeon… because these are HIS patients… not Dr. ShortGuy. I hated office politics when I worked in an office… and here I could give a fk… I just wanted out… to have some control.

In this moment… the current morning… I had enough. My sinuses were filled with mucus, and I felt my condition was declining because of this NQ tube and being bound to the bed. If they don’t remove this tube… I will. Katia showed up at 7 am… wrote her name on the board and I asked about the tube… “We’ll see what the Dr says…” and she was gone. And at the moment I was becoming highly agitated… the surgeon walked in. I explained the effects of the tube, and just as I was about to say, “you take it out or I will…” he said let’s remove it now. And he did… and it was immediate relief.

Dr. Tall came in after, and then Katia… and I could sense an air of defeat… none made sense to me. I would think they want me out… to have a hospital bed for another… whatever it was… I felt my condition would decline if I were there much longer. I was thinking about the Hemingway exit path… control is power. And I can’t imagine a quality life attached to a hospital bed. And, “goodnight, my kitten.”

I hadn’t had food for a week and half… I was starving… slurped up my liquid lunch and dinner. And the next morning I would have a regular breakfast and if my stomach could handle it… I would be released. But they were delaying my release… those two were on shift… Dr Tall and nurse Misery… I fell asleep waiting for discharge and when I woke it was close to 3 pm… I was upset. Rang the nurse. While waiting, I got dressed. My shoes didn’t fit because they were so swollen, and I had to remove my socks and insoles to put them on. And I couldn’t close my pants because of the same… and when she walked in… I demanded some answers… 15 minutes later I was on the sidewalk… it was late afternoon. I could barely walk… but I was now in control of my destiny.

I had to go across the street to get prescriptions. Wait. Get to my car 10 miles south… and then drive North to San Antonio where I had an Airbnb waiting. I had some pain pills and motivation to be on my own. I kept thinking about the movie “The Revenant,” based on a true story of Hugh Glass that crawled 200 miles after being left for dead from a grizzly attack… I was like; I have a car… I can drive 2.45 hours, get gas and food… easy peasy.

I made it. Hobbled in. Took a bunch of pain meds. Ordered Uber Eats. And went to bed feeling comfortable and in control. I woke up in the morning feeling better, physically and mentally. But… it’s been slow going. I had much in my system and as all wears off I’m left with little to no natural chemicals. And pain and discomfort… on top of feeling vulnerable.

So… I was feeling cynical. And holding some thoughts of contempt for some human beings and situations that have been in my life the last few months… and some anger about society. Plus, an existential crisis…

I know that will pass as my body starts producing chemicals again… and I become more mobile. The last few months in Mexico were toxic… it seems to be a specific sign from the universe not to return… or to move in another direction, or make responsible decisions, or focus my energy elsewhere. All of the above.

Before I became sick… I had a plan to store my car in San Antonio and fly back to Mexico City… and then fly back to SA and bring my car back down to Mexico City. And as I was walking to my car the other day from the grocery store… my car is beat up… I’m beat up… and I think it’s time to weigh the options.

And… I was actually super ill over the last 2 weeks there… I had the H3N3 super flu or maybe COVID… and when I showed up to the hospital in Laredo I still had an infection in my lungs… along with intestinal blockage.

Despite some weirdness with a couple of beings at the hospital… I was well cared for… and the hours and situations healthcare workers endure… I’m quite sure they don’t get paid enough… and likely are short of the many kudos they deserve.

Mexico City is abrasive to the nervous system, the immune system, the lymphatic system… all of the systems… although the people are supportive… I am a stranger in a strange land.

I need to get the balance of my things from my apartment in Mexico City… I have a plane ticket to return this week. If all goes well today… I thrust myself back into the bacteria-rich land of Ciudad de Mexico in 3 short days… it will likely barrage my immune system… but there’s no longer a need to delay the next adventure… so… I jump in with both feet.

If you want to find me, I will be on the corner of Av. Insurgentes and Calle Querétaro… we’ll have a taco or hug, or dance, or a scream… or all of those things… with enthusiasm… to make life worth living.

#adventure

#theresnobasementatthealamo

#cdmxlife

#denverspurs